While it may seem just about every man problem can be solved by the trifecta of sports, sex, and food, this truth does little to explain these top 13 man habits.
Men, we’re begging. Please help us understand.
Your need to fix everything
When we cried because our boss was a jerk, we didn’t expect you to come up with a plan to get him fired. Why can’t you just let us be sad and pretend to listen?
Oblivious to a single detail
Your best friend called to tell you he had a baby. You don’t know the baby’s name, or even the baby’s gender. You do however know that we’re out of beer.
Sleeping through a crying baby
We know you’re not really sleeping. Oh yes, we know. We’re also keeping score.
The combover
The combover has never once fooled anyone into thinking you have hair. Never once.
Booby Kryptonite
They’re just boobs; breathe. You know who else has boobs? Your mom.
Not knowing when something’s wrong
When we say “nothing” is wrong, it means everything is so completely wrong that we don’t even have enough hours in this lifetime to adequately express how wrong everything is.
Thinking we know where your stuff is
Why would we know where your jockstrap is? We didn’t use it last.
Sex as a cure-all
You just lost your job and then learned your mom is sick in the hospital. Who’s up for sex?
Your mother is a saint
Except she’s not. Not even close. A saint might have taught you to put the lid down.
Your definition of babysitting
Watching your neighbor’s kid is called babysitting. Watching your own kid is called parenting. The more you know.
Scratching in public
You call it “adjusting”. We call it disgusting.
Dirty clothes outside the hamper
We find dirty clothes next to the hamper, semi-near the hamper, but rarely inside the hamper.
Snoring
Grizzly Adams, for the love of all things holy, what the hell is up with your snoring?
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